It was down at the Balinese

In the world of obnoxious chain restaurateurs, Tillman Fertitta is a marketing virtuoso. The grave sins he has imposed upon the human palate notwithstanding, Tillman must be credited where credit is due. It is no small accomplishment to build an entire dining empire around a victual miscarriage that manages to simultaneously unite the culinary delicacies of Long John Silvers with the decorative ambiance of Chuck-E-Cheese and the service staff of Astroworld; nay, to do so and still manage to turn a profit.

Yet that, Tillman has. And he did it with only minimal casualties to the Galveston waterfront. And the city of Kemah. And the San Antonio skyline. And the once-breathtaking panorama that straddled the Pierce Elevated. In the age of Tillman, aesthetic matters little and loud, obnoxious, flashing lights are everything. In the age of Tillman, Houstonians are forced by way of their daily commute to gaze upon the permanent Fiesta-mart parking lot carnival that has set up shop on the front lawn of the downtown skyscrapers and happens to be surpassed in sensory offenses by only the bayou it sits astride...

...which leads one to contemplate, what would Tillman Fertitta do if he ran the statehouse?

If informed interpretation may be gleaned from his recent political activity, it may have something to do with resurrecting the old family business. Though a lifelong Democrat donor, Tillman and Family have spent the last few months rounding up tens of thousands in campaign cash for a certain governor with no foreseeable future campaigns on the horizon and whose term doesn't expire for another two years.

According to the Texas Ethics Commission, one Tillman Fertitta wrote a $20,000 check to Texans for Rick Perry on 10/2/2007. His out-of-state cousins, Las Vegas Casino owners Frank and Lorenzo Fertitta, similarly donated $5,000 a piece to Governor Hairspray on 12/12/2007.

Now what on earth could the Fertitta family need from Rick Perry to the tune of $30,000 into a lame duck campaign account? And with the 2009 legislative session fast approaching, what is Rick offering them in return?

It may be worthy to observe that around this time Tillman also donated $100,000 to "Texans for Economic Development," a shill PAC that promotes the installation of video gambling terminals at race tracks.

Frequenters of crowded islands in the gulf of Mexico should take note. The eyes of Texas are upon you.